i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
