been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
