bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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