Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
