At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
