it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
