Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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