I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize