singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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