haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
