I hate all girls vehemently.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
