Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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