he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
