You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
