it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
