i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
