Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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