soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Drunk is not a location!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
