Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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