At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
