You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
