Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
