I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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