Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All I want is dick and wine.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
