I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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