It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
