You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
