Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
