there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You need a sexual gate keeper
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
