what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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