so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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