if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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