No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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