you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
