yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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