fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
