At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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