You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
