love makes seman taste better
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He has the fingertips of a God
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