fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize