so explain again why im purple
no
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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