Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am naked and annoyed.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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