My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
