I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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