I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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