You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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