I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
