They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
