wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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