***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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