wrigley field is MILF paradise
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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