so explain again why im purple
no
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
