the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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