Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
