i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
