brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
