my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
