I wanna passion pit in your ass
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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