Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize