Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
