Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
