I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
