I am in a vortex of obligation.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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