"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
