I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
