I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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