I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
