Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
honey bunches of taint.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
